Thursday, March 5, 2009

Random me- A tag! [Another tag ;)]

I think I do more tags than I write blog entries ;) Tags are fun to do. The ease of having questions asked and not having to think of what to write about is definitely more than welcome for my lazy bones. :D So, here is this tag, Random me, picked from Sash's . This darling girl has done it delectably [quite so with all the brinjal and fish ,lol :P]. My turn,
Here are the rules [Which I might not, erm, will not stick to anyway ;)]:
The Random Tag Rules : Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

You have to link the person who tagged you.

And here I go:

1. I am indecisive.

Hell, I am. This is by far the most constant attribute of me. I've always been, will be and am indecisive. Librans are born with this load on their body. They just can't decide. And I am so full of it I take an hour every damn morning to decide what I should wear to the college [No, its not about my concern to look good or the routine 'girly' thing. Even if I were a guy I'd take as much time :/ also that is one reason I loved school, there's a uniform and you don't need to decide. But, I used to, since I had 3 sets of uniform, I took time to pick one among them too. Sigh!]

2. If you tell me, I am not doing it.

No one can tell me/coax me into doing a certain thing. I do when I wish to do, when I feel upto it and I will not do it, most definitely, if someone asks me to. It actually irks me no end when people ask me to do something and people at home have an uncanny timing to tell me to do something, for example, study, right when I am mentally preparing to pick my book. The moment someone says it, it sort of bursts the entire idea that has been forming in my head. So, I will not study. It might look rude to a certain cross section of people, but wth. I cannot, will not. ;)

3. I think I am manipulative:

Very manipulative. I think I am the witchy kind and I bring people or events to a certain effect. I have that awareness of directing someone's emotion and when someone responds in the way I had charted it out, it makes me swell. Or so I think. ;)

4.OCD :

When I get obsessed, I get obsessed. I have this theory of a threshold- Anything if given repeatedly will wear its charm away. So I give that particular person/song/food to myself repeatedly, several times- If I grow over it, if I notice a decline in the feeling for it, there I know I can get over it. Those things I don't get over after my exercise in threshold testing, will remain as things I love. And however I try I will never get over them :)

5.I have silly games/theories/sounds:

LOTS of them! And I will get them going no matter if the person likes it or not. So much for pledging to tolerate me :D One such theory is [just to say, how silly I can be]- Aftercalls. If I like the person a lot [which always is since I am so extreme with emotion. I either like someone too much and get indulgent or I am just plain indifferent] and I happen to call/ the person does. After a lengthy conversation, (which will be a few hours) [now I am not the phone person but like I said I am on the extremes always], and we've said bye, I'll call back again. Say: This is an aftercall. A reminder to let you know all the time I just spent with you is special to me and I will miss you until next time :D Shyaah, my hopeless romanticism ;) [See the word, Shyaah? :D]

6.I am a night person:

I LOVE the night sky, the stillness of nights. I can study so well and I have such easy concentration at night. I can't study in the mornings, until dusk. I really can't. I am so active in the nights. la la la. :)

7.Fallible:

Okay, now this is a secret. I let myself be fallible at times. I have the consciousness of what I am doing, I know what I am saying but I will presume this is my fallible mode and whatever I do or say here is/ will be without consequence. Its a sort of refuge when I want to say something and my waking senses or morals will not help me. Bah! I will be dead! :P

8.Earth and sky:

Something that makes me smile. The Moon , the clouds, a patch of green, a homegrown flower. So innocent and so indifferent. They are my releases to my kind of world. Such peace.

9.I talk to myself:

And loud. I don't murmur or talk in a dreamed up cloud. I talk to myself in voice and clearly. And I LOVE doing that.

10. I am incorrigible and egoistic:

I have to end conversations, I have to satisfy my ego, and I will never grow out of the compulsion to do so. Never!

11.Reclusive silence:

I am the kind that will not speak for myself. I just won't talk and I expect people to just understand it if they will. If I like someone, if I dislike a certain thing, whatever it is , I just won't say. And its hurt me real bad a lot of times, but I still cant get over the habit. Maybe I am lazy there too ;)

12.I am easily complacent:

I can weave myself in a dense web of complacence even before I do something substantial enough to get complacent. This makes me over confident and again, I hurt myself bad. :S


13.Germ-i-clean:

I freak out on hygiene. No, I do not bath regularly, I am just too lazy to put myself through a bath. But I have to have clean feet, clean nails, clean hair, clean face,clean slippers too. Spotlessly clean. I feel so yuck when I see dirty feet or dirt in nails, I feel like throwing some water over them until they come clean or going and chopping that long grown nail off their hand :S I can't even tolerate someone sleeping on my bed or resting their head on the pillow. I start to think of disease transmissions, fomites, eew!

14.I love dusting:

I know this is silly, but wth we are talking random stuff, anyway.I love that feeling of dusting something and restoring its sheen. Gives me the feeling of an archaeologist :P Also, washing a dirty brown linen to white, ah, when you see the white, it is SO fulfilling. But, of course, the linen better be washable and it better get back to white with little effort , else, I'd burn it up. :D

15.. I look at the recipe book, everytime. :

:( I might be bright with academics, brainy, blah, blah, blah, but I just cannot, cannot ever cook something from memory.I have to look at the recipe book every single time, and with every step. I just won't remember, more properly, I am just not sure if what I remember is right :S

16.I read the newspaper backwards:

One habit, I can't get over. I read the newspaper starting from the last page. I've always been like this. Sometimes, I try to start from the first but I just can't read more than a page that way. Also, I have a habit of marking interesting stuff with pencil [yes, on the newspaper!] - I fear if this thread will be my passport to an asylum ;) :P

17.I think I am asylum material:[:P]

I really think so and sometimes go to the extreme lengths of trying to find out why I am not into one already. Maybe people haven't seen it yet , properly, they will if I come out of my room. Some day some one will take me to one. :P

18.Physiology of emesis:

I am very uncomfortable with crowds. I feel stuffed, like all these people are drawing up all the air and filling it with more CO2 and I have to breath that, THAT? No! Also, in the buses, those closed air-conditioned buses, I will most definitely throw up. And all this because the physiology of vomitting will be playing in my head on loop. :S

19.Confused in crowds:

I get very very confused when I see lots of people. Too much color, too many faces, glaring lights, I can't grasp the enormity with my two simple eyes.

20.I LOVE my solitude:

I can't ever give up this one thing, ever. I need time off all the stuff and with myself. This is more evident in the way I am always locked up in my room, always in my room.

21.I have sudden inspirations:

Like I said earlier, I'd do anything if I got an inspiration. If I feel like painting, I will then and there, if I feel like climbing onto the terrace , I will, even if there is no ladder. [Once I wanted to have a cinematic shower, I stepped on a tap and broke it. It was SO much fun fixing it up and having the shower of course! :D]

22. I pride myself on the general knowledge:

Dad and me keep this going at the dining table. And I LOVE it. Several guests think it a privilege to join our dining table discussions, yay! Also, I am a self-proclaimed techie. :D Atleast a beginner techi, erm, whatever, I am techier than the average man! ;P

23. Bad table manners:

Bad manners puts me off and that at the table it makes me want to throw up. I can't continue eating when I see someone scattering food and using up all their hands in the effort to eat. Eew, its SO gross! That said, I, sometimes, [when I am alone] try acting that out. Sit clumsily, eat even clumsily. All to know why I can't get over that hatred for clumsy eating. lol!


24. I enact stuff real well:

I can imitate people, enact their expressions quite well. This makes me the stand-up comedian at gatherings. Of course, the gathering should be of people I know, in the sense, only and only my cousins and aunts. The first relations. NO ONE else. Not even my friends. And if there is a person who thinks he/she can imitate, I'll never get up to perform. [I don't like indulging in a competition! Not a competition of humor atleast!]

25.I cry:

A lot! But there are certain rules to it. I do not cry in the moment. I won't cry in front of anyone [that will make me count as weak.] I will stack them all up until I reach a point where I cannot hold myself back and I start crying. Sometimes, though, I just feel like crying, and since I will not have an immediate reason, I will pick one reason from the stack. :P Now, this reason can be as old as 'someone- told- me- something- bad- in- my- 2nd- standard'. :S That random, I am! :D Also , after crying out to my heart's extent, I will go upto the mirror and console myself. :D

26. Yes, 26!:

:P I detest hypocrites, people who rape languages and pieces of information with their antics and half-knowledge [specially english], ignorant stunted heads, blah, blah-blah-blah. :D [There I am satisfied about breaking the rule :D]

Addendum:[This too! :P]
I can't tell my right from left - I need to take each of my hand to my mouth to see which is more natural and oft-repeated and then confirm :P Specially when giving directions, it has to be fast so I cover by saying- this side, this side :D
I can't tie my shoe lace and I eat food cold . :S :D

Ah, I think I can write another 25 things. :S

Sigh, why should the tag ask only 25. :P

*Deep breath* This was fun! SO much fun :) Thanks to all of those who've read it. Also to those who haven't [atleast their idea of my sanity will remain :D].

Go ahead, those who feel like doing it. It is fun reading too :)





Wednesday, March 4, 2009

How long does love last?

I happened to pick this question on a friend's blog and I guess we all have a lot to say in answer to this question.
This is what I said: "As long as you wish it to. I guess its more about if you've had your fill. If you haven't, your ego [read love sick self] will keep pulling back all those shards of memories of time bygone wherein the entire idea of love translates to longing for fulfillment. If you have had your fill, as in properly reciprocated, then it lasts as long as you can remind yourself of your need for that particular love."

I am making a note here, because this is what I feel at this very moment, in all honesty. It is subject to change surely and I shall look to a day when I would want to erase this thing up and write something else in its place. It might be contradictory then or I may continue to think the same but I am making an exercise in a reality check. Erm, whatever! This is for myself. I'd like to hear what you have to say too :) Do leave a note. :)

Eww-tiquette!

I am, admittedly, a snob and care a lot [sometimes excessively] about manners et al. More so, when I am having a groggy day or I am just plain irritated. No, I'd not say anything outwardly but my face twitches and winces involuntarily.
But, there are days when my self acclaimed sophistication goes blank and it completely bemuses me. I start to wonder if it was indeed me who behaved in a certain way. Rather, some times, I am clueless about any form of manners and I suddenly feel the rub of being civilized or partly uncivilized or roughly uncivilzed.
One such experience is what happened yesterday.I was at the doc for a check up and this person is the assistant professor of Medicine at college.[Medicine being my fave branch, I am naturally a bright talent(atleast I pass off such impression) in the department and therefore I have a good rapport with the entire staff.] So, I walk over to his clinic and wait for him. I see him entering his cabin and I just smile[NO wish, nothing! After a few seconds I am like, good morning sir- this at 7:30 in the evening!]. He asks me to come in and I sit across and reel about the problem. After this is over he fixes an appointment with the consultant sonologist of the hospital and since the appointment was a few mins away he chats up until then. We discuss several things and my talk is conspicously free of any form of respectable addressing. Then we go over to the cabin of the sonologist. Here, the prof takes the lead and introduces me to this doctor who is also the head of the hospital.
Prof: Doctor, this is my pet student Rukhiya. She's the one I was asking you to screen.
[Turns to me]. You know this is Doc XXXXXXXX.
I nod my head in disagreement! I don't know the person,I've never heard/seen him before and my reflex goes nude and I nod to mean, no, I don't know!
As bad luck would have it, the doc saw me nodding. :S
Then on the table he asks me questions [one real disadvantage of being a medico is you are not spared the viva voce even on the operating table. So if you have a problem, you better diagnose it yourself , hold a bunch of differential diagnoses and study everything there is to know about it, if possible also brush up a related topic before you present yourself to a doc!] and I did not know how to answer from such an uncomfortable position :/
After this , he walks out of the room to his cabin & my prof asks me to take the other common exit out of the room. The fix here was whether I should go back and thank the sonologist first and then thank my prof or run to the prof's cabin assuming my talk would do for a thank you to the sonologist(also assuming that it'd be overly sweet/unnecessarily sticky to go the sonologist and give a huge thank you when he has 4 patients already waiting upon him). I had to act quick and I first got out of the room and went to the prof's cabin. When I enter , I goof up his conversation with another doc I know. I was caught between two docs I know and had to make it clear how I know each of them. Bah! Then I was asked to wait for a while outside [I clearly remember my prof saying this!]
In the waiting room, stranded and caught in all my confusion I was still considering going back to the sonologist and thanking him. I thought it was awkward of me to not do that first and if I went now, I'd make it even worse. All this was killing me and the day's running about and studying had already taken a toll on me.
Half an hour passes and I let the other patients go in first. At 9:30 I finally go in and my prof says:" You're still here? ". This particular moment I wanted to kill myself / kill him. What does he mean you're still here? Of course I am, he asked me to. I say : "Yes sir". Then he goes : "But why? ". Now, I am all red and my face is awfully transparent . Concealing with all effort I say:"Umm,Sir, I thought I'd thank you before I leave". He says:" Oh, Rukhiya, skip the formalities." Yeah right! But now? . Then he says: "Oh and by the way, don't worry much theres no problem we could detect yet, stay cool, things will be fine". I tell you if he hadn't said this much I would've gotten so $#^% at him!
As though all these goof ups were not enough when I exit the room I forget to pull the door along behind me. The consequence? It shuts with a large thud!

Sigh! If I were outside myself and was watching all this, I would've despised myself like hell.

Where? Oh, Where are my manners?

Disclaimer: The above post in no way means I am sophisticated always. I can be groggy, uncivilzed or more shrewd than the lowest creature on the planet. It's all in the day.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Road side..


The other day I was driving home from college. And I was speeding as usual. The roads here are pretty narrow and hugely residential [yes,the roads double up for homes for many people] and I had to really keep my hands glued to the brakes. Just when I was avoiding a kid running across, a man , of 50 , came up to stand in the way. My bike screeched to a halt and I was wondering what he was trying to do. I stopped to take a closer look. There was a little chicken that had been run over. It was obviously fighting its last and this man here took the time off to guard it.I do not completely understand the situation, but, to me , it seemed very strange and moreover it made me guilty. I do not know if it was a kind-er me, she would have taken the dying poor thing to a Vet or done something else. But it kept playing on my mind over and over again, until I wrote it here. I do not know if its going to stop with this, but I had to write it out.
.........................................................................................

Thia post is one I will keep updating.I'll add on to it . This new place teaches me LOTS of things.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Tag wag! :P- Words and Images!

I know its been LONG since I got here, but the previous post was self-explanatory about the break and the reasons :) Meena, love your 'come back' note *Hugs* :) . And Usha m'am, I'll be a good girl now :P [finally!]

Let me get done with this interesting tag thats been pending for long now. More appropriately because, its WORDS and IMAGES. There is nothing better, I've loved surely. :) Here goes:

The rule:
I'm supposed to be pasting an image for every answer of mine,from the first page of google image search,with minimal explanation.

Roll..

1. The age you will be in your next birthday:

I'd like to say this in that typical tone one of my friends says- Tontee too :P But damn, so soon, this one doesn't make me happy :S

2. A place you’d like to travel to:
I'd love to travel, the world over. I really don't care 'where'. All I wish to do is wander and breathe from a patch of a meadow, listen to the gurgle of water,run , or just be, somewhere. A little free, a little empty. :) If I HAVE to pick up a place, it would be Santorini, Greece. I've been hugely fascinated lately with these pictures I see of this place. This place beats all my ideas of heaven :)

3. Your Favorite place:
Of all places I have access to, it should be my room [Needless to say, the balcony too :) ]

[Not mine. Pretty much like mine. Same pinch to that someone who is as clumsy as me :P]

.. and a place I usually drive off to towards the city's outskirts- Calm and soothing :) Sadly, Google wont help with it, but I shall try giving the picture. *Searches*

This place :) [Dug this one out from the PC :P]

4. Your favorite food/drink:

Chicken :D I think I can eat ANYTHING in the name of chicken :P [Its passed by tolerance test, EVERY single time , so! :) ] And the image search took long,I was drooling :P


Drink- Water, preferably cool. NOT chilled :) [Favorite or not, it is one thing that doesn't sicken me :P]

5. Your favorite pet:
CAT! [ pat comes the reply :P ] Almost all my friends know I am a cat maniac :) THE best creatures on the planet :) And you needn't pet them, they'll take it when they want , anyway ;)


6. Your favorite color combination: Umm, blue and a certain soft brown, the color of skin. I go bonkers over this combination :) Absolutely sensuous and subtle :)

7. Your favorite piece of clothing: Pajamas and tshirt :D MOST comfortable, which explains why I am always lazing around in them ;)

8. Your all time favorite song: All-time favorite is VERY hard to pick. Erm, Heaven by Bryan Adams. I don't know why I chose this one, maybe because I've always felt it was for me. Just that much :)

9. Your favorite TV show: F.R.I.E.N.D.S. :)

and Oswald :D

10. Full name of your significant other: Significant other? Full name? Myself. Now, pick the first and second names out please ;)

11. The town in which you live in: Tirupati. Now, this image should be from some prehistoric era. Its less greener now, but green enough :)

12. Your screen name/nickname: Rukhiya- on/off screen. But,lately people have taken to calling me Rukhs. So that must be it :)Pick the 'Rukhs' part yourself! :|

13. Your first job: Was bad. Because I couldn't figure out what my 'job' was. :P [I am shtill in college, duh! ;)]

14. Your Dream Job:
To be a Pulmonologist :) Indeed my dream, but it won't look like a job to me :)

15: Bad Habit you have: Umm, I tend to think, people will 'understand' without me having to say something. And it turns out, this assumption is more often than not wrong. Sigh!

16. Your worst fear: Becoming someone I am not for a reason that is not mine.

17. The one thing you’ll like to do before you die: Say Au Revoir :P There are LOTS of things I'd like to do before I die. "God put me on earth to accomplish a few things, right now, I am so far behind, I'll never die" ;) That goes for me ;) And I usually end up doing all and everything I wish to do when I can so I am doing fairly well ;)

18. The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000: Umm, our old mansion-like-house. That's for mom and dad. :)

Phew! Done! :) Thoroughly enjoyed this one, thanks dearest! :) I'll tag off everyone reading this :D [A cue from teacher dear :P]